Bleached White
by Mira-cle Skye
Summary: Aizen and Voldemort have allied. Ichigo and co. end up in England because a freak accident. There they meet Harry Potter and are forced to go undercover at Hogwarts, there to stop any hollow attacks, since everyone knows hollows are impervious to magic.
1. In which there is prologueness

**I now present to you the newest production from the minds of Mira and Skye, and the premier story on our new collab account, Mira-cle Skye. We decided that there aren't enough Bleach and Harry Potter crossovers, so we decided to make our own. We hope you all enjoy it!**

Disclaimer: Neither of us own Bleach or Harry Potter. But, I did use my copy of the fifth book as reference for a bit of this.

"This new product is Bloody brilliant!" Fred Weasly exclaimed to his twin brother who sat across the cauldron from him. The contents of said cauldron bubbled and fizzed, bright green in color and smelling none too pleasant.

"I'm with you there, mate." George replied with a grin, sprinkling a dash of a bright purple power into the mixture and stirring it. As a result, the contents of the cauldron turned a deep blue.

"A best seller, we have here." Fred said, adding a rainbow feather.

"Everyone will want one." George added, picking up a phial containing a clear liquid that had swirls of a pale orange in it. The brother grinned at each other as George un-stoppered the phial. Fred looked at what his brother was just about to add.

"George! No! Sto-" But it was too late. There was a bright flash of light that filled the room and both twins shielded their faces from it.

-

"Are you sure about this?" Kurosaki Ichigo eyed the man leaning against the wall skeptically.

"Of course, of course!" Urahara Kisuke replied, snapping open his fan. He stood up from the wall and put the fan away. "Now, are you all ready?" He asked the six people in front of him. Ichigo, Orihime, Rukia, Renji, Ikkaku, and Yumichika were all standing inside a circle pattern with rune like things along the edge.

"Yeah, and you're positive this will bring us to soul society." Renji said.

"Completely." Urahara replied, pulling a phial out of his sleeve that contained a clear liquid with pale orange swirls. "Now let the ritual begin!"

Urahara began chanting in some language they didn't understand, lights began to swirl around the circle and those inside of it. When the light seemed to to be at it's peak, Urahara emptied the contents of the phial onto the ground of the circle. There was a brilliant flash of light that consumed the entire room. As soon as it faded Urahara scanned the room. The six were gone, but he had a sinking feeling. He just knew it, something had gone horribly wrong.

-

Harry Potter sighed as he lay in the garden outside number 4 Privet Drive, listening to the news via the window just above his head. His uncle seemed to find it strange that a boy his age would want to know the news. There was a loud bang that reverberated throughout the entire neighborhood- it almost sounded like someone had apparated or disapparated. Harry shot up, cracking his head on the window sill above. He hissed in pain as he held his throbbing skull, lights dancing before his eyes. As soon as the pain subsided a bit, he stood up and ran, just as his uncle was about to grab him.

"What have you done, boy!" his Uncle shouted after the fleeing boy, but Harry ignored him. He was determined to find out what had caused that noise. And he didn't have to go far to find out. Standing in the middle of the street was a group of people, looking very out of place and confused. Their clothing was normal enough- standard muggle attire- but just the look of them was unlike anything he had seen on Privet Drive. Could they possibly be wizards? He wondered with a glimmer of hope in his eyes. They started speaking to each other in some language that Harry didn't understand. So they were foreigners.

"Um, excuses me?" He asked in a quiet tone, tentatively approaching the group of strangers. All eyes were suddenly on him and he took a step back. "Uh, can I help you?" He asked, feeling a bit more confident than a second ago. Most of them just gave him a confused look, like they didn't understand what he had just said.

"Ah, yes." One of them said, stepping forward. She was very short and petite, with shoulder length black hair that flared out at the bottom and a lock of hair across her face and in between her violet eyes. "Could you tell us where we are?" She asked in a very strong accent the origins of Harry could not identify.

"You're on Privet Drive in Little Whinging." He replied.

"And where is that?" The girl asked.

"England, where else." Harry responded. The girl twirled around to face her companions and they began to speak with one another in hushed tones.

"Nani o, imi ha ingurando!?" One of them yelled out, a tall guy with spiky orange hair.

"Hai, ingurando" The girl Harry had spoken to replied calmly. They all went back to their huddling.

"Um, are you all wizards?" Harry dared to ask.

"Wizards? No, we are shinigami." The same girl responded.

"Shinigami?" Harry asked, confused.

"Yes, shinigami. You know, death gods?" the other girl offered. She was taller than the first with long orangish-brown hair and flower shaped pins in her hair. Harry just looked confused.

"Well, it doesn't matter. We must be on our way." The first girl said, "Thank you for your help." She said with a smile, dragging her companions off down the street. Harry just stood there in a dazed state for a minute before he snapped out of his reverie and started walking in the other direction the strangers had gone, thinking about what had just happened. What did they mean by death gods? That was when he spotted Dudley and his friends bidding each other good bye for the day. He grinned, time for his favorite activity on Privet Drive- annoying his cousin.

"Hey, Big D!" He called out to his cousin, and from there the mocking ensued. Eventually they entered an alley on their way back home when everything went black and the temperature dropped. Dudley started panicking and freaking out. But only one thing crossed Harry's mind- what were dementors doing here!? And then he saw them, two of 'em. But before he could even pull out his wand...

"Hollow!" A voice yelled out and the orange haired boy from earlier dropped down from a nearby roof, a gigantic sword in his hand and wearing completely different clothes from before- an all black outfit that was by no means normal looking. He cleaved the hollow attacking Dudley, who had collapsed, clean in two and stabbed the other right in the face. That was when the others from his group ran in.

"Hey! You're those people from earlier!" Harry exclaimed, pointing at Ichigo. All of them froze.

"You can see him?" The first girl asked him, sounding very surprised.

"Yeah, why would I not be able to?" Harry asked.

"Well this is certainly a surprise," the dark haired girl from earlier said solemnly. "I was not expecting this at all."

"Well something here is off," Harry ran a hand through his hair.

"Did you see those hollows that attacked you too, then?" The girl asked.

"Hollows? What are those? The things that attacked me were dementors." Harry replied.

"Dementors?"

"Yeah. You know... they're like magical prison guards, only much scarier."

"I'm pretty sure that was a hollow." The girl stated.

"And I'm pretty sure it was a dementor." Harry retorted, "I mean, didn't you see all the blackness, the cold, the feeling of never being happy again?" The girl just looked at him, confused. Harry sighed, "This is going no where fast..."

"Harry! Are you all right!?" someone yelled from the other side of the alley. They all looked to see none other than Mrs. Figg standing there, looking frightened and harried. "Who are those people?"

"Oh! Mrs. Figg, I didn't hear you coming. Uh, these are... um... people I met at the park," He grimaced at his own lie.

"B-but what are they doing here! And what happened to the dementors!?"

"What dementors?" This lie was getting really hard to carry on his own. Harry rubbed the back of his neck, "And we were just going out for food, I guess."

"But I swore..."

"And wait, how do you know about dementors!?" Harry asked, suddenly realizing that fact.

"T-That doesn't matter now. Come with me, and bring your 'friends' along with you I suppose."

Harry sighed. "Fine. Can someone help me carry Dudley?" The first girl turned and said something that sounded like a command to two of the boys in their group, one being the orange haired boy who was mysteriously back in his old clothes and the other boy was just as tall with red hair in a pony tail and tattoos on his head and face. The two sighed and hoisted up Dudley between them. The ragtag group then set out, heading for Harry's house.

"We have to get to Hogwarts..." Harry muttered, "This is going to be bloody aweful when Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia see what happened..."

**How did you all like it!? Skye has nothing to say and neither do I, really. So until next time, Ja ne!**


	2. In which there are angry people

Harry stood on the door step of Number 4, Privet Drive and took a deep breath. He was not looking forward to seeing his aunt and uncles reactions, but he had dawdled long enough, so he reached out and rang the doorbell. The door swung open and a red faced Vernon stared at him while a horse faced Petunia glared angrily at him from down the hall.

"Where have you been, boy?!" Vernon snarled. But before Harry could answer, Aunt Petunia let out a yelp and rushed toward Dudley, grabbing her son from Ichigo and Renji.

"What have you done to my son!?" She demanded, clutching the disoriented Dudley to her.

"I didn't do anything-" Harry began but Uncle Vernon cut him off.

"UPSTAIRS NOW!!!"

"But-" He started but didn't bother finishing. He couldn't win. 'What am i supposed to do with these blokes now?' he thought to himself, glancing at the girl and the others.

"Umm, well, see you later, Harry!" The first girl called out then she and her companions left, along with Mrs. Figg. Harry grimaced then ran upstairs before Vernon and Petunia could verbally abuse him some more. Upstairs, his owl Hedwig chirped as he entered. He sat on his bed beside her cage and sighed.

"What am I going to do, Hedwig?" He asked the bird, "I doubt that I am going to escape this without punishment and I don't know how I am going to let anybody know about what happened, seeing as the only letters I have gotten from anyone have been incredibly short and vague." Hedwig seemed to acknowledge him, but gave no reply. Harry just sighed again. "What am i going to do?" Harry asked himself again, leaning on the windowsill.

-

"Where the heck are we going to go!?" Ichigo exclaimed frustratedly He and the others were walking down the street with no clear destination.

"This is ridiculous. How does anyone know where they're going in this place?" Rukia pursed her lips.

"Hey, do you guys hear that?" Orihime suddenly interjected. They all stopped and listened.

"Oh! I heard that! I sounded like..." Rukia began but was cut off by Ichigo.

"It sounded like a hollow!" He finished for her. They all set of running in the direction of the sound, arriving a minute later at the scene of a battle. There were indeed hollows, three of them, fighting three humans, each armed with only a stick of wood that shot light out of one end. Each blast of light just bounced of the hollows as they advanced toward their prey.

-

Tonks fired a shot at the strange creature advancing towards her but nothing happened. Frustrated, she fired a blast of another spell and hurried over to Mad-eye.

"What are these things?" She asked.

He shrugged, "I have no idea!"

"This is unheard of! They are impervious to all our spells!" Lupin exclaimed, joining the other two.

"I noticed!" Moody said, firing another spell that did nothing.

"How are we ever going to manage to defeat these things if our spells have no effect?" Tonks asked, groaning in frustration as yet another spell bounced off harmlessly.

Lupin growled in despair, "This is really starting to seem like a waste of time, just firing spells at them."

"What other choice do we have?" Tonks asked, firing spells off at rapid speed. The hollows continued to advance while the three wizards continued to fend them off to no avail. The monsters had nearly reached them when a shout was heard and three new people jumped into the fray, each wielding a sword and each killing one of the monsters.

Tonks stared in wonder, "Who in the world?"

"Interesting, very interesting" Was all Moody said as they approached the three warriors, who had been joined by three other companions.

-

Harry awoke the next morning with a sigh, the events of the previous evening rushing back to him. He sighed again as he made his way downstairs, preparing himself to face the wrath of his aunt and uncle. Vernon, Petunia, and Dudley sat at the kitchen table, not seeming to notice when he entered the room. Harry was grateful for their ignorance. Maybe, just maybe, he might be able to escape punishment for once. When he entered the room, he made a squeaking noise on the tile floor, causing all three of them to look.

"Uh-oh..." He muttered.

"Boy, come here." Vernon said in a voice dripping suppressed rage. Harry sighed for what seemed the hundredth time that morning and walked over to his family. Dudley watched him with hatred gleaming from his eyes. To be honest, it made Harry want to punch him in the face. "Explain to me exactly what happened last night." Vernon ordered, trying to sound as calm as he possibly could, which wasn't much. Harry didn't know how to word it in a way that muggles would understand, it didn't really even matter. However way he words it, it won't make a difference. Vernon is just going to yell at whatever 'ridiculous' story he 'makes up'. So Harry just went for it,

"Dementors showed up and attacked us. if it weren't for those people who helped me bring Dudley home, they might have killed us both." Uncle Vernon looked at him like he thought he was crazy, which he probably did, but said nothing. Harry shrugged, "I tried." But before Vernon could say anything, an owl flew in through the kitchen window.

"What the-" Vernon said, staring blankly at the owl. Harry rushed over to the bird and took the letter that was tied to it's leg from it. The bird flew off as Harry opened the envelope. "What does it say?" Uncle Vernon demanded, but not trying to take the letter from Harry.

The letter said:

Dear Mr. Potter,

We have heard of your situation at number 4 Privet Drive and i have arranged for a few people to come pick you up. Have your belongings ready. They should be there tonight.

Dumbledore

"It's from Dumbledore!" Harry exclaimed happily, smiling for the first time that day, "He says he has sent some people to come pick me up!" Vernon scoffed but said nothing, in fact, he was relieved to get Harry out of the house. Harry ran up the stairs before his relatives could say something, eager to pack up since it meant leaving for the rest of the summer.

Hedwig chirped, sensing the good news. Harry grinned at her, "Yeah Hedwig, you'll finally be able to stretch your wings." The owl gave a contented hoot and settled into her cage, watching Harry feverishly stuff anything he could get his hands on into the trunk that sat at the foot of his bed. Harry had to sit on his trunk to get it to close since he didn't take the time to fold anything before he stuffed his things in. Harry collapsed onto his bed and lay there, awaiting the arrival of his headmaster. A couple hours later, he heard a knock on the front door and he ran out, eager to great Dumbledore.

**We know it's short, but it was a good place to end! Plus, Skye wants to work on the sequel to Stuck Without A Wand, our most recent story on this account. Please check it out!**


	3. In which mysterious people arrive

"Dumbledore!" Harry called, rushing down the stairs to meet the headmaster, who was standing in the doorway, being eyed suspiciously by his aunt and uncle. Dumbledore said nothing and led Harry swiftly away, his belongings floating behind him.

"Where are we going, Dumbledore?" Harry asked as soon as they were out of the house, "Are we going to the burrow?"

"No, we are going somewhere new. Now, take my arm for we will use side-along apparation to get there." Dumbledore said and Harry immediately complied, curious as to their destination. Dumbledore apparated and it was the strangest feeling Harry had ever experienced, he could hardly describe it. They came out in front of some muggle houses.

"Why are we here, Dumbledore?" Harry asked, confused.

"We are right now standing in front of the head quarters of the Order of the Phoenix." Dumbledore answered, and as he said it, a new building appeared among the others. This one was much bigger and looked a lot different.

"The Order of the Phoenix?" Harry asked as he followed the headmaster into the house. Dumbledore explained the order and it's purpose to Harry, who then attended the meeting and met up with his friends for the first time all summer.

Life proceeded at the headquarters, doing various chores to clean up the house and just hanging out with friends. Boring stuff that no one really cares to hear about since they should have already read about all of them in the book. Then the letters came, and Ron and Hermione were made prefect.

"Oi, look at this." Fred said, getting the attention of the others, "Says here that there's a new class this year, a required one for all students."

"What class?" Harry asked.

"Non-magical defense."

"Non-magical defense? Why would they want to teach us something like that?" Hermione asked.

"Beats me, but it sure sounds like fun." Ron said.

George scoffed, "Sounds like a load of poppycock to me. When would we EVER be without a wand? Honestly." He shook his head.

"You never know..." Harry said.

"Plus, what if some muggle ticks you off?" Ron asked. George thought about it.

"Good point, we do want to avoid most suspicion.

"A nice punch to the face should do those stupid muggles some good!" Fred, George, and Ron laughed.

"Watch it..." Hermione warned.

"I mean, the idiotic ones, unlike you." George said in an attempt to save himself. Hermione merely 'hmphed' and let it slide. George and Ron snickered as she left. Harry merely shook his head and followed her out.

"Hey Hermione, what do you think is up with this class?" Harry asked. Hermione paused.

"I really don't know, but Dumbledore must have some reason that is unknown to us. I just wonder what this class is going to be like." The newly promoted prefect replied.

"I just wonder who's teaching it." Harry replied simply, un-beknowest to him that he had already met the teachers.

-

Ron stretched out as he entered the Great Hall, "Smells like a good year!"

Hermione grimaced, "Hopefully your smell sense isn't as bad as your common sense." The trio took their seats as the sorting began. After that was finished, Dumbledore stood up, clearing his throat to get the attention of all those present. The room was silent immediately.

"Very good, very good. Now I have some announcements to make before we start our feasting. First, I would like to introduce our new Defense Against The Darks Arts teacher, Professor Dolores Jane Umbridge." The new frog like teacher received mixed reactions from the students- most unpleasant. "And I am sure many of you are curious about the new course." This got everyones attention in a split second. "You see, we have some transfer students this year, from Japan. And they bring with them one of their classes that they find very valuable and useful. Now we have two teachers for this subject, Yumichika Ayasegawa-sensei and Ikkaku Madarame-sensei. And our four transfer students, Ichigo Kurosaki, Orihime Inoue, Rukia Kuchiki, and Renji Abarai. They will be staying with the Gryffindors." Dumbledore finished his speech and the food appeared.

"Ron, Hermione, those- those are those people I told you about, the ones with the dementors." Harry whispered to his two best friends.

"Harry it can't be. The odds are like one in a million." Hermione said.

"Yeah, mate. Maybe you're just a little on edge about it all," Ron assured.

"No, no, I'm absolutely positive. Those people are not the type you easily forget." Harry replied. Ron and Hermione looked over the new students with a sharp eye.

"You sure, mate?" He asked, turning back to his friend, who nodded. They continued to talk about the subject as they ate their meal. When it was done, they made to leave but where stopped by Professor McGonagall.

"The headmaster wants to see you three in his office right now, if you would." She told them.

"Of course, we shall go there right away." Harry replied and they were off.

"Why us?" Ron complained, "Why always us?"

"Will you relax!" Hermione said, "It can't be bad."

"Actually, I think this will prove to be very interesting." Harry said as they entered the office.

"Good you three are here now." Dumbledore said, sitting behind his desk.

"Hello, Harry." Someone said from another end of the room. Harry turned around to see the new people standing there, the exact same ones from that night.

"You are them!" He exclaimed, pointing at the group.

"Yes, the same." The short girl replied, "My name is Rukia Kuchiki." She introduced. Her companions then introduced themselves.

"You see." Dumbledore said, "We have reason to believe that Voldemort has allied himself with this man named Aizen, who has control over these terrible monsters that are unaffected by our spells."

"And, what does all of this have to do with that?" Ron asked, receiving an jab in the side from Hermione's elbow.

"You see, these people here are Shinigami, they have the power to kill these monsters and they have allied themselves with us for this war of shared adversaries."

"And what does that have to do with us?" Hermione asked, crossing her arms.

"I need you to help them assimilate among these people here and help them with their magic." Dumbledore said

"Like a secret army you're saying?" Harry said.

"Exactly."

"Sweet" Ron said and that settled it. Soon they were on their way to the Gryffindor common room, minus Ikkaku and Yumichika, that it.

In the common room, Harry sunk into a chair and sighed, "Well, this year will be interesting."

"I am excited to see how your world works." Rukia said with a glow in her eyes, "Though I think Renji will have a hard time."

"Hey, just because I suck at kido doesn't mean I'll be bad at magic!" Renji retorted.

"Sure, you keep telling yourself that."

"Magic isn't too hard. Actually, it's fairly simple." Hermione smiled.

"You would say that," Ron said, "Cause you're a prodigy at everything!"

"I'm not a prodigy. You're just slow."

"ooh, burn!" Rukia said and they all burst into laughter, even Ron.

Fred and George popped their heads from around a door, "Can we keep it down?" One of them said.

"We're trying to do business in here!" the other said. Hermione was instantly on alert.

"What kind of business?" She asked suspiciously.

"The normal kind." Their friend, Skye, said, also appearing around the doorway. The three went back into the room before the others could say anything.

"I'll never understand them," Hermione said shaking her head.

"Boy, I'm beat" Ron said, stifling a yawn.

"Me too." Ichigo said, the rest showed their agreement.

"Well, let's get off to bed." Hermione suggested.

"Best idea I've heard all night." Harry said and they all trudged up the stairs, Rukia and Orihime going with Hermione and Ichigo and Renji going with Ron and Harry where they got their last sleep before classes would start.


	4. In which one blanks on a chapter title

**Mira: Yes! We updated!  
**

**Skye: You mean you forced me to work on it.**

**Mira: Psh, technicalities. Anyway, enjoy.**

**Skye: We don't own either series. Live with it.**

"G'morning, mates." Harry greeted as the 'transfer students' entered the common room.

"Ohayo!" Orihime greeted cheerfully.

"What?" Ron asked stupidly (just imagine it.)

"She means good morning." Ichigo translated, joining the group, "Japanese is the first language for all of us, after all."

"Right right." Fred and George said, throwing themselves at Ron and tackling him to the ground for no reason.

"Oh, get off!" Ron wheezed as they crushed the air out of his lungs.

Hermione came up behind and smacked Fred and George's red heads together, "Knock it off! It's too early in the morning!"

"Hey, you guys know those teachers for that new class, right?" Fred asked, standing up and rubbing his sore cranium.

"Yeah," Rukia answered, "What of it?"

"Well, we were just wondering what they are like and what the class is going to be like." Hermione replied for him.

"Oh, that's easy." Renji laughed, "They both love fighting, especially Ikkaku, Yumichika is obsessed with beauty but he's really strong. Both of them are. The class is probably gonna be hell for you all, but don't worry, we'll be there to keep them in line."

"You know, generally the teachers keep the students in line, not the other way around." George said.

"Your point?" Ichigo looked at him.

"I really don't know." George replied offhandedly.

The group walked into the chatter filled great hall and all took their seats to eat.

"Look here," Ron said, "Strange looking food."

"It's probably in honor of them." Harry said, motioning to the transfer students and eyeing a pot of strange looking soup.

"Are you done giving the miso soup the evil eye?" Ichigo asked Harry.

"Is that what it is?"

"Yeah."

"You can have it."

"Thanks." Ichigo spooned himself a bowl of the soup while Harry opted for more 'safer' dishes like bacon and eggs. The rest of the original Hogwarts students stuck to their normal breakfast foods as well.

"That was good." Renji said, leaning back after he had finished eating.

"It always is." Ron agreed.

"Thanks to the house elves." Hermione said indignantly.

"Oh Hermione, you're not working on spew again this year?" Harry groaned.

"For the millionth time, it's not spew, it's S.P.E.W. and yes I am." Hermioned replied hotly.

"What's S.P.E.W.?" Orihime asked.

"The Society for the Protection of Elvish Welfares." Hermione answered, "House elves don't get the rights they deserve and I think that it is wrong."

"What are hou-" Orihime began to ask but Ichigo put a hand over her mouth.

"Don't, we don't need too much information this early." He said.

Fred and George came up behind Orihime and whispered in her ears really scarily, "House elves are little creatures that suck your brains out when you sleep! They nibble your toes and slobber in your hair at night!"

Hermione threw a book at them, "Don't tell lies! And don't scare people! They're just joking."

"Or are we?" Fred and George left the question hanging before bursting into laughter and going back to sit by their other friends.

"What are they really?" Orihime asked, unphased by the twins.

"They are creatures that serve wizards unquestioningly with no benefit for themselves." Hermione informed.

"Oh Mione, they like serving us, it's their instinct. Making them not serve us is like... is like... is like denying you any form of book." Ron said.

"Poppycock." Hermione dismissed, "Oh look! They're handing out schedules!"

"Here you all are." Professor McGonagall said, handing them each their time tables.

"Hey, we have non-magical defense with the Slytherins first." Ron observed, "Great."

"What are you talking about," Harry asked with a grin, "Don't you wanna see Malfoy get his ass kicked." Ron paused,

"I didn't think of that! This is gonna be great!"

"And if you didn't notice, boys, we have it with everyone in our year." Hermione informed.

"But we still have it with the Slytherins." Ron retorted and Hermione just sighed.

"Who's this Malfoy person?" Ichigo asked.

"A complete and utter git." Ron stated matter of factly.

"He's this bully that we all hate. Stuck up, the most conceited person to ever walk the planet, muggle born hater, relies on his fathers influence, stuff like that." Harry elaborated.

"Well, we must ask Yumichika and Ikkaku to give him an extra beating." Renji grinned evilly.

"Can you?" Asked Ron, who stared at them with semi-awe.

"Pft, of course!" Rukia laughed.

"Do it!" All the nearby Gryffindors cheered.

"Will do." Rukia said with an evil grin of her own. After that they walked to class, chatting amongst themselves before they arrived at the non-magical defense classroom. It was a previously unused room on the first floor, but now it had been magicked to resemble a typical Japanese dojo, complete with wooden floors, a sliding paper screen door, and plenty of natural light. There were also mats lined up against the wall, some punching bags in one corner, a rack of shinai **((a type of wooden practice sword, for those who don't know)) **and bokuto **((a different type of wooden sword, only more solid))**. There were many other things around to help with training. And standing in the center of the room were none other than Ikkaku and Yumichika, complete with shinigami gear and zanpakutou.

"Welcome to your first class ever of non-magical defense." Yumichika greeted, "I am Yumichika Ayasegawa and this is Ikkaku Madarame. You shall call us Yumichika-sense and Ikkaku-sensei."

"Why?" Malfoy asked as his buddies giggled.

"Because that is the Japanese way of doing it and because I say so and I am your teacher." Yumichika replied coolly, which shut the Slytherins up.

"Now," Ikkaku said, stepping forward, "Does anyone here have any sort of previous non-magical combat experience? And I don't mean those petty little fist fights you teenagers seem to be so fond of, I mean formal, strict, exhausting training."

Obviously, the four Japanese students raised their hands, but no one else did.

"Well this is just pathetic." Ikkaku stated, shaking his head disapprovingly, "Not even a bit?"

"Well," Justin Fitch-Fletchy said, raising his hand tentatively, "My mum had me take some self defense classes a little while ago."

"How'd you do?" Ikkaku asked, cocking one eyebrow.

"Umm, not too well." Justin replied with a nervous smile.

"Hopeless!" Ikkaku exclaimed, throwing his hands up.

"In my second year I killed the basilisk with a sword." Harry put in.

"Really?"

"Yeah, but it just sorta happened, I didn't really do anything."

"Ugh! That's it, Ichigo get up here and grab us each a bokuto. You and I are gonna show this British people how a sword fight looks." Ikkaku ordered, pointing at the orange haired boy. Ichigo got up and grabbed two of the wooden swords, tossing one to the bald instructor.

"You all may wanna stand back." Yumichika warned and all the Brits complied immediately. Orihime walked over to Yumichika and stood next to him.

"I'm on injury duty." She informed and he nodded.

"How injured can they get with just wooden swords?" Ron asked the remaining shinigami.

"You have no idea." Rukia replied.

"Here I come, Ichigo!" Ikkaku warned and they began to spar. With the cracking sounds of wood on wood filling the air, the students watched with awe as Ichigo and Ikkaku fought. With swirls of color and flashing movements, the traveled across the floor, the beat of the violent dance never relenting. The two were at a dead tie, neither able to gain an advantage over the other when Yumichika decided that it was enough.

"That's enough, you can stop now." He said, stepping forward and clapping his hands loudly a couple times to get their attention. The two stopped and stepped back from each other, panting and covered in sweat.

"Any injuries?" Orihime asked, popping up from behind Yumichika. Both fighters shook their heads.

"Ichigo, you did pretty well in that robe." Ikkaku complimented.

"It wasn't easy. If we're gonna be doing this all year, we need better clothes to change into, like gym uniforms." Ichigo said with a grimace.

"We'll be sure to inform Dumbledore." Yumichika said, "Now you go join your classmates."

"Dude, that was amazing!" Ron exclaimed in a hushed tone as Ichigo took a seat among them.

"Thanks." Ichigo said with a grin. From there, Yumichika and Ikkaku spent the rest of class explaining, albeit vaguely, what they would be doing that year in class. And it must be said, many faces in class got continuously paler as the explanation went on.

"Okay, that's it. Go, be off with you." Ikkaku dismissed at the end of class.

"Off to your next classes now." Yumichika added with a glare to Ikkaku. Ichigo and the rest hung back.

"What's up?" Ikkaku asked as soon as all the other students had left.

"Well, we just wanted to put in a request." Ichigo replied.

"What sort of request."

"Give an extra beating to one person in particular"

"Why?"

"He's an ass."

"Fine by me." Ikkaku replied offhandedly.

"Who is it?" Yumichika asked.

"That one Slytherin boy who spoke up earlier." Harry answered.

"I didn't like him." Ikkaku added.

"We very well might 'give him an extra beating'. Now off to class." Yumichika pushed them out of the door and they all made their way to the next class in a good mood.

**Mira: There it is, chapter whatever number it is.**

**Skye: Smooth.**

**Mira: What? Like you know off the top of your head what chapter we're on?**

**Skye: ... touche.**

**Mira: And I must say, No Good Deed from the musical Wicked sounds cool in German!**

**Skye: No it doesn't! Being in German kills the song!**

**Mira: Says you.**

**Skye: Yes, says me.**

**Mira: Anyway, we're done here. Please review!**


	5. In which Malfoy gets beaten up

**Hello all! Mira here! I feel like working on this and Skye isn't on. I don't know if she will be joining me at all on this chapter. Probably not. So here I am, working on this chapter alone. Hey! Don't give me that look! I am a perfectly capable writer! Hmph! **

**Oh, and No Good Deed is an amazing song! Especially in English. Not German. **

**Disclaimer: Dude, what do you think?**

The group was very excited for the next non-magical defense, which was the next day. I mean, they really wanted to know what Ikkaku and Yumichika had in store for Malfoy, so the next time the class rolled around later that week, they were all there as soon as they could be.

"Ah man, this is gonna be good!" Ron exclaimed, pumping his fist in the air.

"Knowing Ikkaku and Yumichika, yes it will be." Renji said with a bark of laughter. Soon the class was filled up and Ikkaku and Yumichika walked in.

"Okay class, today we have something new for you: uniforms that will make it easier for you to move around." Ikkaku informed, showing them two doors. One with a girl sign and the other with a boy. "All you have to do is walk in the room, close the door, open it again, walk right out and you will be in your uniform.

"Wow, that's convenient." Ichigo said, raising an eyebrow. Anyway, everybody changed and as soon as they were done, Ikkaku and Yumichika gave the class a short routine to practice in the partners that they (the teachers) had assigned.

"Rukia Kuchiki and Draco Malfoy." Ikkaku said, informing the two that they would be partnered up for the exercise. Both parties smirked. After everyone was partnered up (as for the rest of the people, use your imagination), Rukia and Malfoy faced each other.

"Are they kidding me? Pairing me up with a midget like you!?" Draco laughed and a vein popped in Rukia's forehead, "I could take you down any time!"

There was no way Rukia was gonna take that.

--5 seconds later--

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Draco cried out while the entire class watched and laughed. Rukia had pinned Draco to the floor, the side of his face squished against the wood, one arm pinned behind his back the other being held at an awkward angle straight out behind his back, and Rukia had one knee digging into his back.

"You could take me on any time? As if!" An annoyed Rukia said, digging her knee into his back even further. Out of everyone, Ikkaku was probably laughing the hardest. He had clearly planned everything to happen this way, but after him, it was Ron who was laughing the hardest. To be quite honest, only some of the Slytherins weren't laughing. The class went on, Draco continuing to get his ass kicked. It was a pretty pathetic sight, actually, some reflected, as that teeny tiny Rukia kept beating him time and time again.

"I gave him the reality beating he deserved." Rukia stated as they walked out of the room after the period ended.

"Oh so true." Ron agreed, still laughing at the sight of Malfoy... well, you get it by now.

"What do we have now?" Harry asked Hermione, cause she is the one most likely to know.

"Our first defense against the dark arts." She replied immediately. Harry groaned.

"What's wrong?" Orihime asked.

"I don't like the look of that Umbridge woman." Harry's eyes narrowed. Ron put a hand on Harry's shoulder.

"None of us do mate, none of us do."

"That's for sure." Renji agreed. Nobody said anything as they waled into the classroom where Umbridge sat at her desk at the front. They all took seats at the back. Soon the rest of their classmates filed in and waited for the class to start.

"Well, good afternoon!" The toad woman greeted them as the last person sat down. Only a few people mumbled a reply. "Tut, tut. _That_ won't do, now, will it? I should like you, please, to reply 'Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge.' One more time, please. Good afternoon class."

"Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge." they all chorused back, but those in the back rolled their eyes at each other.

"There, now," The professor said in a sickeningly sweet voice, "that wasn't too difficult, was it? Wands away and quills out, please."

Many exchanged gloomy looks. The command of wands away never meant that a interesting lesson followed. They all reluctantly put their wands away and pulled out quills and parchment. Umbridge pulled out her own unusually short wand and tapped the black board with it, causing words to appear on it:

_Defense Against the Dark Arts_

_A Return to Basic Principles_

"Well now, your teaching in this subject has been rather disrupted and fragmented, hasn't?" Stated Umbridge as she turned to face the class, her hands clasped neatly in front of her. "The constant changing of teachers, many of whom do not seem to have followed any Ministry-approved curriculum, has unfortunately resulted in your being far below the standard we would expect to see in your O.W.L. year.

"You will be pleased to know, however, that these problems are now to be rectified. We will be following a carefully structured, theory-centered, Ministry-approved course of defensice magic this year. Copy down the following, please."

During the entire speal, Ichigo was trying very hard not to flick the woman off, he could already tell that she was... um, well, a dog of the female persuasion (if you catch my drift).

Umbridge tapped the black board again and the message on it was replaced by:

_Course aims:_

_Understanding the principles underlying defensive magic._

_Learning to recognize situations in which defensive magic can legally be used._

_Placing the use of defensive magic in a context for practical use._

For a couple of minutes, the room was filled with the sound of quills scratching on parchment. Once everyone finished Umbridge asked if they all had a copy of Defensive Magical Theory by Wilbert Slinkhard?"

Her question was met with a chorus of yeses. Except for that one piercing no that came from none other than Ichigo.

"No, professor." He replied, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair.

"What do you mean, no?" The toad woman asked, clearly trying very hard to keep her cheerful facade. She wasn't doing so well with that.

"I mean, no, I do not have a copy. Anymore, that is." Ichigo replied.

"What happened to yours then?" A very annoyed Umbridge.

"It was eaten. By Yachiru."

"Yachiru-fukutaicho ate it?" Renji exclaimed, obviously finding the fact very amusing.

"Yup." Ichigo replied, smacking his lips on the 'p'.

"So that was why she was complaining about having a papery taste in her mouth..." Rukia thought aloud.

"How did this happen that this Yachiru thing ate your book?" Umbridge asked, a vein popping in her forehead.

"Well, I was packing up everything in my trunk before we left and then Yachiru came skipping into my room to say bye, saw the book on top of the pile of books I had yet to pack, picked it up and started to read, deemed it boring and stuck it in her mouth. She ran away before I had a chance to get it back and it back and there wasn't enough time to buy a new copy." Ichigo replied as if it was something completely normal.

"Then, Mr.-"

"Kurosaki. Ichigo Kurosaki."

"Right, Mr. Kurosaki, read on with the person sitting next to you until you get a new copy." Umbridge said and that was that. The person next to Ichigo just so happened to be Orihime.

"Is that was actually happened?" She whisper-asked.

"Psh, not at all." Ichigo grinned and Orihime just shook her head, smiling none the less.

-

Hermione was not reading the bogus book. It was useless. Complete and utter rubbish. So she sat. And waited for the professor to notice her lack of reading. Umbridge was clearly ignoring her, but she obviously would not be able to do so for much longer since everyone in the class had also abandoned their reading and were staring at her.

"Did you want to ask something about the chapter, dear?" The horrifyingly pink woman asked eventually, acting as if she had just noticed Hermione.

"Not about the chapter, no," Said Hermione.

"Well, we're reading just now," Said Umbridge, showing her small pointed teeth. "If you have other queries we can deal with them at the end of class."

"I've got a question about your course aims." Hermione stated.

Umbridge raised her eybrows.

"And your name is-?"

"Hermione Granger."

"Well, Miss Granger, I think the course aims are perfectly clear if your read them through carefully," Said Umbridge, straining her sweet facade.

"Well, I don't." Hermione stated bluntly. "There's nothing written up there about _using_ defensive spells."

There was a short silence as many turned to read the course aims on the board. Hermione was absolutely correct.

"_Using _defensive spells?" Umbridge repeated with a little laugh. "Why, I can't imagine any situation arising in my classroom that would require you to use a defensive spell, Miss Granger. You surely aren't expecting to be attacked during class?"

"We're not going to use magic?" Ron asked loudly.

"Students raise their hands when they wish to speak in my class, Mr.-"

"Weasly," Ron said, thrusting his hand into the air.

Umbridge turned her back on Ron, all the while smiling widely. Harry and Hermione immediately raised their hands too. Umbridge's eyes lingered on Harry for a moment before she addressed Hermione.

"Yes, Miss Granger? You wanted to ask something else?"

"Yes. Surely the whole point of Defense Against the Dark Arts is to practice defensive spells?"

"Are you a Ministry-trained educational expert, Miss Granger?" Asked Umbridge in her falsely sweet voice.

"No, but-"

"Well then, I'm afraid you are not qualified to decide what the 'whole point' of any class is. Wizards much older and cleverer than you have devised our new program of study. You will be learning about defensive spells in a secure, risk-free way-"

"What use is that?" said Harry loudly, "If we're going to be attacked it won't be in a-"

"_Hand,_ Mr. Potter!" Sang Professor Umbridge.

Harry promptly thrust his fist into the air, but the toadish professor ignored it only to see many more hands decorating the air.

"Yes, Mr. Kurosaki?"

"Well, I agree with Harry."

"Oh, you think that you are likely to be attacked?" Umbridge asked and Ichigo barked out a bit of laughter.

"_Think?_ I do not think I'm going to be attacked, I _know._"

"And you know this with such certainty since you've been attacked before?"

"Of course! Hah, I've been attacked more times than I can count on my hands." Ichigo informed, "And many of those times did I not escape unharmed."

"One such as yourself can hardly have sustained any serious injuries."

"Serious injuries? Please, one time I was cut right in the middle. Clean through. The only thing keeping my top half connected to my bottom half was my spine!" Ichigo was practically yelling and Orihime winced at the memory of what Ichigo looked like at the time.

"I highly doubt that." Umbridge scoffed.

"Oh yeah, want proof. I can show you the scar." Ichgio yanked up his shirt a bit, revealing the long, vertical scar that ran across his entire belly and then some.

"How many scars do you have, mate?" Ron asked in awe, spotting other scars on him.

"A lot." Ichigo replied simply, replacing his shirt to it's normal spot. Umbridge would have said more, but the bell rang signaling the end of class. They all hurried out of the room.

"Did Yachiru really eat your book?" Rukia asked as the walked down the hall before any of the brits could ask about Ichigo's scar.

"No. I actually started reading it to see what it was all about, deemed it rubbish, so I cut it up with Zangetsu." Ichigo replied.

"Nice." Renji replied. They all laughed about that as they walked to whatever it is they had next.

**Voila! There, done! This took a little while because I was stuck for a bit. But then I clearly got over it. **

**Anyway, how did you all like it? A nice, long chapter. Anyway, please review!**


	6. In which there is plot I think

**Oh. My. GOD! I AM SOOOOOOOO SORRY THAT I HAVEN' UPDATED!!!! I've been super busy (AP European History. Math. AP Euro. Chinese. AP Euro. Need I say more?) and just, well, lazy and negligent. But I'm update now, aren't I? You all should feel special. **

**I know it's not much of an excuse, but that's life. Life's a bitch. If it were a slut, it'd be easy.**

**Anyway, after that nice littler (yet totally valid and important) life lesson, we now proceed to the chapter! Huzzah!**

**Hopefully the plot actually develops soon...**

**Dissing o' the claim: 'Nuff said.**

_**Written while listening to the new Boys Like Girls cd, Love Drunk**_

**-**

Well, after that little fiasco with Umbridge, things had simmered down for the rest of the day (I think....) and we now turn to our heroes as they sit in the common room doing homework, or, at least, that's what they're supposed to be doing.

"Ugh, what a-"

"Don't even think about it, Renji." Rukia scolded, whacking the poor recipient of her wrath over the head with the DADA textbook, which they had been using to write an essay for that class. Which is why Renji was about to call Umbridge a very unpleasant name before he was stopped by Rukia.

"Well, she is!" Renji retorted in a defensive tone, clutching the back of his head. I mean, seriously, the bogus book (as it shall hence be known) is heavy!

"I'm not going to deny that..." Rukia said, lowering the book/informational-resource/blunt-object/deadly-projectile, "But still..."

"Can we get back to the essay, please?" Hermione asked, trying to nip the fight in the bud.

"Ah! Yes, sorry." Rukia sat back down and opened up the book to the appropriate page and began writing. The common room was quiet for the rest of the evening.

Or at least as quiet as the Gryffindor common room can be...

-

The week proceeded in a totally normal, totally uneventful way. History of Magic was boring, Transfiguration was difficult, Divination was rubbish, Defense against the Dark Arts was even _more _ rubbish, Potions was taxing, Care of Magical Creatures was normal (but disappointing due to the lack of Hagrid), Charms was... well, charms, and Non-magical Defense was fun. What else would one expect?

It was all dull, to be quite frank.

"Something must be wrong with me." Harry said, banging his head on the table one perfectly dreary Sunday breakfast. **(this story is probably gonna be really different plot-wise in all but the major events, because I'm too lazy to use my book as reference)**

"What's up?" Orihime asked as they all took their seats.

"I need something exciting to happen. But that could be potentially dangerous and someone could get hurt. But I'm bored by all the recent dreariness." The boy-who-lived replied, his voice slightly muffled by the table.

"Hey, you're not alone." Ichigo said, laying a consoling hand on the boy's shoulder.

"But Harry, you should take advantage of this lull to live a normal life." Hermione said.

"I know. But in case you've forgotten, a large part of the school thinks I'm either insane or a murderer. Or both." Harry added.

"At least it isn't as bad as it could be." Ron pointed out, "And that's all thanks to our new friends." He slung an arm around Rukia's shoulder, only to get it shoved off immediately. Renji hid a snicker. **(ugh, we need a plot...)**

"I guess..." Harry relented, spooning some eggs onto his plate.

"Harry, Ron, remember, Quidditch practice today!" Angelina called to them and the boys nodded to show they heard her.

"Good luck with that." Ichigo grinned at the boys.

"Thaaaanks..." Ron gave Ichigo a half-hearted glare. '

"Hey, Ron, it'll be a nice break." Harry said, playfully nudging his best friend who was starting to let his nerves get the better of him- for a practice!

"As long as that woman doesn't do anything to ruin it." The red-head replied with a face. Yes, a face.

"Well, the rest of us have homework to do." Hermione informed, and said other people rolled their eyes, but the girl did have a point.

And breakfast continued to pass uneventfully.

-

As did the following day.

-

And week.

-

And then, finally, one blissful sunny Friday. Something _finally_ happened.

-

"And does everyone understand?" Umbridge asked in her sickly-sweet-makes-you-want-to-freakin'-_strangle-_voice as she surveyed the classroom, looking over the students. Said students were, for the most part, barely staying awake due to the last hints of summer heat that drifted in lazily through the open windows, making the room just a tad too warm and drowsy, and it was also a Friday and everyone was looking forward to the weeked. To the end of the class, for that matter.

"I said-" Umbridge began in a much more forceful tone since she had received, but was cut off when a bone chilling roar was heard in the distance. "What in the world was that?" She demanded, her eyes narrowing. No one knew. No one, that is, except for four certain students, all of a sudden wide awake and sitting up straight due to the all too familiar sound.

"Hollow." The four all muttered simultaneously under their breath.

"What was that?" Umbridge asked/demanded. She had heard the whisper of the whispers in the silent room.

"A Hollow." Ichigo said, standing up, confronting the teacher.

"And what in blazes is that?" The Frog woman demanded.

-

**Yes, that is it. I know it's terribly, horribly short. But it's something, and that's better than nothing. Plus, I was running out of ideas and it was a good place to end. And a cliffhanger! Kinda... Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed it!**

**Please review, if you want to make the Authoress, being Mira cause Skye has kind abandoned this story, happy. Do it. Now. **


	7. IMPORTANT AN

**Hey people, Mira here, it's been a while, I know.**

**Here's the deal. I've been thinking about this fic lately and I realize that it sucks. I mean, seriously. The writing style isn't that great and it's _sooooo _cliché. Have you ever noticed that most HP xovers turn out really similar? Well, I wanna make this one more unique, so I've decided to rewrite it.**

**MOST IMPORTANTLY, I'm gonna post the rewritten version on my personal account, Ce'Nedra Queen of Random. So please check it out there! I should hopefully have the new first chapter up in a few days at most... It all depends on how proactive I am.**

Thanks for keeping up with this fic! I hope to see you all again on the new version!


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